tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70476694762885651102024-02-18T22:11:53.319-08:00A glimpse into my mindRamblings of an unconventional hijaabihijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-80327019408594984352011-04-11T22:47:00.001-07:002011-04-11T23:15:04.814-07:00"Muslims like to fight"The above is a statement said to me by a friend of mine who carried on to tell me that when he said that, he didn't mean me because I am "Moderate."<br /><br />I personally do not know whether I should be flattered or I should be upset by such a statement.<br /><br />Two of my friends were talking about the situation in Libya and how Obama had no business sending troops to help with the revolution. One guy was pro-sending the troops because as he saw it, this was a Humanitarian crisis and this is where America should be sticking their nose. The other, feels like Muslims are using this as another reason to fight...because after all...that's what we like to do.<br /><br />At the time I heard this, I was hurt. Desperately trying my hardest to redeem the Muslim name, explaining that a minority should not be what labels the opposing majority. But as these explanations of how Jihad isn't necessarily a holy war or that Fox news is a bunch of idiot-wannabe journalists, I realized that I can't blame him.<br /><br />Its our fault.<br /><br />Let me preface this by saying I am pro every revolution that is going on in the Arab world today. I stand with the Egyptians, Syrian, Algerians, Libyans, etc. I applaud their fearlessness in standing up to their oppressive regimes, knowing that they may not live to see the end of what they started....those people at the core of these revolution are MEN and the women at their side are women who I wish to meet in Jannah one day if I am lucky enough.<br /><br />Now, back to my rant. ITS OUR FAULT!<br /><br />How many of us try to show our non-Muslim neighbors that what they see on TV is not the thoughts and beliefs of the majority of the Muslim community? (I am speaking to myself first). When we get cut off by some moron on the street instead of biting our tongue, we shout out a few expletives. We hold our heads down and walk. We don't smile. AND in the rare event that someone decides to "ask us a personal question" (which we know is most likely about our terrorist brothers or about that hijaab our husband forces us to wear) we get loud and defensive or wave our hand in disgust and walk off.<br /><br />I can feel a wave of hate that is going to be thrown at me for saying this, but its something that has been bugging me for quite sometime now and I have stayed quiet, but I think it should be mentioned. AND since you don't really know who I am, I'll go ahead and talk :). My brothers: The Irvine 11 who have received a ton of publicity (and are facing criminal charges) for interrupting a speech being given by the Israeli Ambassador to the US. There's a few things I want to say about this:<br /><br />1. I am anti-Israel. I believe that the land being occupied by the Apartheid state should be given back to its rightful owners. And there is a lot more I can say, but know I am completely against that regime.<br /><br />2. I do NOT believe that criminal charges should be placed on the Irvine 11 - disrupting a speech is NOT a criminal act. No matter how many times they were asked to stop.<br /><br />3. What the Irvine 11 did is NOT what the Prophet (SAW) would have done! We sometimes, in our anger and passion for what is right forget how we should handle such a situation. By all means speak out against the lies and filth being fed to people by the Apartheid State...but do it peacefully. Do it in such a way that if the Sahaba (RA) were watching you or if the prophet (SAW) was seeing your reaction you would not be ashamed.<br /><br />We are living in a different era. We are the despised and hated neighbor and instead of acting like that despised neighbor, we need to act like the neighbor everyone that hates us wishes they had.<br /><br />Smile at your neighbor. When they are sick ask them how they are. If you don't see them, knock on their door or leave them a note to let them know you care. Invite them to your house for Eid. Share the food you made for Iftaar with them. DON'T BE RUDE!hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-12957602550369643802011-04-03T01:50:00.000-07:002011-04-03T01:54:43.701-07:00WaitingSo my question is....How long is too long??<br /><br />To wait for a brother to get in touch with you after he says he's interested in you and you agree to allow him to contact you.<br /><br />I'm someone who is attached to my phone, my emails are fed to me directly and immediately. I am ALWAYS in contact with humans. So perhaps I'm a little needy when it comes to receiving an email that says "Hi, I'm the guy that was interested in getting to know you for marriage. When can I set up a meeting with you and your parents (or brother)?"<br /><br />Anyone wanna shed some light on this.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-43380984035957773532011-04-03T01:12:00.000-07:002011-04-03T01:25:40.003-07:00Under ManagementRarely do I ever have a young patient. Where I work, the patients are usually my parents' age or a lot older. However, a couple weeks ago I had a patient who was not much older than myself. As a matter of fact we probably listened to the same music, watched the same shows, followed the fashion trends growing up.<br /><br />The first day I took care of him, it was like taking care of any patient. You know, formal - I called him mister. The second day, we became friends. Laughing, joking, watching the basketball game together (I like to build a rapport with my patients...especially when I know I'll be caring for them for at least a couple days). While I was starting his IV, one of our psych patients started to scream. He rolls his eyes. I laughed.<br /><br />"Am I on the psych ward?!" He asks...half serious, half joking.<br /><br />"It feels like it doesn't it...I promise its not a psych floor."<br /><br />"Yeah right!"<br /><br />"Well, I mean we take care of psych patients from time to time, plus a lot of older patients with dementia end up on this floor, so they confused and at out sometimes."<br /><br />"Yesterday some lady was talking about bacon. Like at 2 in the morning!"<br /><br />"Oh you mean Edna (not her real name, of course)? She can be a hand full, but I think she got discharged"<br /><br />"OMG, so its another one....ya'll do have me on the psych ward. Man, your husband probably hears some crazy stories from you."<br /><br />I smile, "I'm not married."<br /><br />"You're kidding right?" I nod my head. "WOW, well dang girl, you walk around like you're under management or something."<br /><br />"Why does everyone say that?!" I'm now officially blushing from semi-embarrassment<br /><br />"Its the way you carry yourself, like you have a man on your side or something."<br /><br />The conversation carried further. I still don't know why every man I encounter in person assumes I'm married just by the way I "carry" myself. I think I'm pretty friendly...at least with men that are not Muslim in an attempt to show them that Muslim women are not stiff prudes as we are often portrayed as. I smile, I joke, I laugh and am also not afraid to have a decent conversation with men. So why is it that men always think I'm married?hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-82953265079674026592011-03-20T20:35:00.001-07:002011-03-20T20:50:44.068-07:00I went on a date a couple days ago....I have a feeling this will muster up a lot of hate messages, judgment and more, but, before ya'll get your knickers in a twist..please read first.<br /><br />My co-workers are aware that I don't go out with guys...alone. They also know that I only get married...and to Muslim men only. (I say it like I do this on a daily basis).<br /><br />So the date.<br /><br />This guy is Muslim...he's an acquaintance of this friend of mine. And I guess he happens to be looking for someone and happened to be in town that day. So, my friend tells me she wants me to meet a friend of hers "He's Muslim, good-looking, single and looking."<br /><br />Me: "Um? can I think about it?"<br />Her: He's only here for a few days for work. I think you should really think about it. Hey...you never know, it could work!<br /><br />Me: (nervous as hell, yet appreciative of the offer) I'll think about it...I'll let you know by lunch time.<br /><br />While I was there...toying with this idea, I consulted a friend..a sister. Her thoughts went something like this:<br /><br />"What do you know about him? Is he practicing or a closet Muslim? How MUSLIM is he? How old is he?" and the list of 21 questions continued.<br /><br />Eventually, I decided, on my own to meet him (with this friend of mine of course) I call it a date because of its spur of the moment-ness, the fact my parents had no clue, the fact that I didn't know anything about him. The only thing that made it not a date was that my friend was going to be there. And, it wasn't really a date. But that is what she called it.<br /><br />So after work, we decided to meet him for coffee. On the way there my friend was asking a million questions.<br /><br />"So, what do I do? Do I sit at the same table? Do I act like furniture or do I actually interact? I've never really been on a date with someone as a chaperone."<br /><br />When I write it down it sounds kind of comedic, but while it was happening it didn't feel so funny. I felt like I was doing something wrong, even though I wasn't, really....or was I?<br /><br />He was a complete gentleman. He didn't try to shake my hand, he respected my space. He was funny, smart. I felt like we could really be friends. But there was something I couldn't put my finger on that just didn't seem to sit right in my stomach. Its been a few days and I haven't heard from him yet and I'm not really sure what happens next.<br /><br />I guess we wait...some more?hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-86889287007774717142011-01-09T00:58:00.000-08:002011-01-09T01:07:24.455-08:00Resolutions...I know I am late by a few days, but it seems like that time of year. The time of year when everyone is making list upon list things that they would like to do before the following year....a list of things they probably will never do, not even in ten years.<br /><br />Lose weight, exercise more, stop procrastinating (but of course you will procrastinate and decide to stop procrastinating....tomorrow). Been there, done that.<br /><br />I on the other other hand don't like to make resolutions, they don't cross my mind until everyone around me starts to talk about their own resolutions. I don't want to lose weight - to be honest, I don't have enough weight to lose anyway. I'd like to exercise more, but if I don't, it wouldn't bother me. Yes, procrastinating is something I would LOVE to stop doing, but lets face it...I'll probably continue to do that for a long time. I would like to be a better Muslimah (but this is a lifetime resolution).<br /><br />You see the thing with resolutions is that you can't just have one. The reality is, we ALL need tweaking. We have MANY things to change...not just one. So I propose a new concept...instead of a new YEAR resolution...I propose we make a new DAY resolution. Every day..a new resolution. We change one thing everyday and each day we build on it.<br /><br />I mean why wait a whole year to work on another improvement?hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-58027711620852037502010-11-14T20:19:00.000-08:002010-11-14T20:25:53.127-08:00PRESSURE PRESSUREIt's enough when a Muslim girl is pressured by her family and friends to find a guy and settle down. But I think the tip of the ice berg, straw that broke the camels back, etc is when a non-Muslim tells a Muslim girl that she better start looking for a husband.<br /><br />At the time it happened to me, it was funny...but it only made my situation even more apparent to me. And it got me thinking.<br /><br />Maybe the guy I truly want does not exist. My mother tells me that I am way too picky. And I can agree with her. However, the thought of settling makes me despise getting married at all. I personally don't think the things I expect are extraordinary...I mean they are characteristics that exist in many people...(only they are married). I just seem to have an impossible time finding my person.<br /><br />The search continues....and the frustration grows.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-55074090001956488912010-08-18T01:27:00.001-07:002010-08-18T01:31:38.582-07:00I'm in love........with his voice!<br /><br />Subhan'Allah, every Ramadan I'll attend a masjid for Tarawih or Qiyam ul Layl and some brother at one of the many masjids I attend will have the most amazing voice, and I will fall in love.<br /><br />I was at a Qiyam the other night and this happened.<br /><br />I don't know if I'm the only one that goes through this. But I literally fall in love with the voice, it brings peace to me (of course that's because its the words of Allah recited so nicely) and I can't get the voice out of my mind. I even go so far as to try to find out who the brother is (and of course if he's single)....however I think I'm so old that every time this happens the brother is younger than me....this one was 19.<br /><br />Sighhijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-49056650084275042312010-08-06T00:57:00.000-07:002010-08-06T01:23:59.469-07:00I'm looking........but don't really know WHERE to look.<br /><br />Ok so I suppose every Muslim of my age is probably looking. For a spouse that is. You see, for the past I dunno how many years, it never was a goal of mine to get married. To clarify, of course I wanted to get married, but it never really seemed like something that was so pressing. And I suppose its still not that pressing - so tell me why I feel that way?<br /><br />I suppose it has a lot to do with me being Indian and in my mid-20's. You see, according to Indian standards, I have already reached my expiration date. I'm much to old to marry someone within a reasonable age range of mine. Now the Indian thing doesn't really bother me...I mean, I have no specific desire to marry "my kind." As a matter of fact I want to marry someone outside of my race to be the first one to break the stigma of outside marriages (people in my family that marry outside the culture...generally marry a non-Muslim). I feel that this racist thing is a big problem in the community (a post for another time).<br /><br />Anyway...back to my question....WHERE do I look!? When I was younger, it seemed it was so much easier...guys came to me...I never had to worry about whether I had to go scouting so-to-speak. Unfortunately for me...the game has changed a little...and I've pretty much forgotten how to play. You see, I used to play back in m y Jahilia..of course I definitely don't wanna play that way, but what I'm saying is I don't know where to look or how to get what I'm looking for.<br /><br />You see, the masjid hasn't really served as a good source for me, perhaps it has a lot to do with my locale and "my kind" and their way of doing things. Match-making aunties scare the crap out of me and weird me out. The friends outlet I guess could totally work the only problem is I have 4 very close friends and don't really keep up to much with others unless I run into them at the masjid (that's my bad). The rest of the time, I'm at work. So what's a sister to do?<br /><br />I guess the truth isn't really the lack of brothers approaching me...the real issue is finding someone that appeals to me, because I think I've gotten to a stage where I don't mind being the initiating party. I'd really like to settle down soon. And then when I say it out loud like that I feel like I sound desperate..but truth be told...that's how I feel.<br /><br />I don't know how many brother read this thing..but it be great to hear from you as well.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-41560520560056539832010-07-31T02:28:00.000-07:002010-08-06T00:56:27.344-07:00Ramadan is RehabMany people would think that rehab is for alcoholics or drug addicts, but the truth of the matter is...we all need rehab. On a daily basis we each often give into the drug more commonly known as the nafs (I think the closest translation would probably be the id - animalistic, non-rational side). We give into our id because its what feels good. Similarly, drug addicts and alcoholics engage in their risky behavior because doing so makes them feel good. Drinking takes there pain away as eating often times takes our pain away (my ticket to pain-free depression is mac and cheese).<br /><br />In medicine, we often put a patient through rehab by taking them away from the thing that is harming them. At first, we completely isolate them from the drug, be it alcohol or any other recreational intoxicant. We do this to rid the body of the toxin. Its often a painful process resulting in hallucinations, delusions and pain.<br /><br />In Ramadan we abstain from food and other things as well (swearing, lying, cheating, backbiting, sleeping, having intimate relations, and everything else that can be detrimental to our self). Like drug detoxification the first fast is probably the hardest, the most painful...I mean we are STARVING. This is the detox phase - please note that scientifically the act of fasting is actually a physical means of detoxifying the body, it allows the liver, kidneys, skin, etc to rid themselves and the body of toxins - go figure!<br /><br />After the detox phase, we often place the addict in programs that teach behavioral modification. We teach him to completely stay away from bars, change his group of friends, even take a different route to work or home. We teach him to eat certain foods to help curb his cravings, etc. This can serve as a very influential, provided the addict takes it seriously and actually tries to modify his behavior. (Notice the similarities?)<br /><br />In Ramadan, we often find ourselves attending the masjid more often than we do at any other time of our lives. We sit through long lectures, pray qiyam ul layl, give sadaqa, read Quran. We turn of our TVs, put our Tupac CDs away and pull out CDs with Quranic recitations of Shuyukh like Shaykh Al-Effasy or Shaykh Sudais. When someone tries our patience, instead of lashing out like we normally would, we try to refrain. We try to abstain from backbiting. And the list goes on.<br /><br />There is no benefit to rehab unless the rehabilitation process continues. In medicine we say, "Once and addict, always an addict." Intoxicants are intoxicating, they take over your thoughts, they debilitate you and the truth of the matter is for as long as you live, you will always be in rehab. People don't say that they are Recovered Alcoholics or that they used to be alcoholics. When you go to an AA meeting people introduce themselves by saying, "Hi, my name is HB and I am an Alcoholic." And they proceed to tell you how many decades its been since they're last drink.<br /><br />Likewise, we as Muslims are a constant work in progress. None of us is immune from the waswasa of Shaytan. Each of us is susceptible to fall into the trap of our desires. So while we go through an intensive one-month rehab session every year, it is up to us to remain in check, to take what we learn in this blessed month and apply it into our lives every day with out fail.<br /><br />May each and every single one of you have a blessed Ramadan. Please remember me and the entire Muslim Ummah in your dua.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-29648663885078874992010-07-26T00:10:00.001-07:002010-07-31T02:28:28.045-07:00A Muslim, 2 Christians and an Atheist...no this isn't a joke....seriously.<br /><br />I worked last night. Nurses are human, we get sleepy during our shifts, especially when we work nights because the truth is, no matter how used to working nights you are, sleeping in the day and working at night is unnatural!<br /><br />Anyways...around 4 am when us nurses start to get sleepy, we either take a quick break (which is really nap time) or we engage in some sort of discussion. So last night as we are hanging out at the station one of the nurses (a Christian) asks this other nurse (an Atheist who happens to be Indian) what religion he follows. Knowing that this nurse happens to be pretty religious, he kind of refrains, but after much pestering, he gives in.. "I don't believe in God, I'm Atheist" <br /><br />She now looks at me, "HB, what religion does he follow?" I answer "He's Atheist." This Atheist nurse and I have been 'friends' for a while now, I know his story.<br /><br />She continues, "Are you serious??" I answer, "Yes, that's what he told me when we met." You see, everyone seems to take my hijaab as a green light to discuss religion...and I welcome it with open arms as long as the discussion doesn't turn into something hateful toward Islam or Muslims.<br /><br />The Atheist and I thought that that was pretty much the end of the discussion. I mean, you ask a question, its answered and that's that, but she continues after a brief silence, "you know, I'm going to say something and I hope it doesn't offend you, but I'm gonna say it: The fact that you don't believe in God makes me uncomfortable, I feel like you bring a negative force around me and I don't like to have people like that around me."<br /><br />Now, as a Muslim, I believe in God. I believe that nothing is possible without Him and that everything is possible only because He makes it possible. I cannot fathom disbelief in the existence of God, but I feel that that comment completely crossed all lines.<br /><br />So in comes the second Christian: "So wait, it makes you uncomfortable that he doesn't believe in God? What does his disbelief in God do to effect you?"<br /><br />"It brings negative energy and I don't associate myself with people that bring negative energy around me, I distance myself from them."<br /><br />I'm sitting here trying to conjure up a response. Here it is: "He's a human being, there is no compulsion in religion. God doesn't need people to worship him, people need to have a superior being to worship. His choice to believe or not to believe in God is a personal choice, but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad person in general."<br /><br />I don't even know her response, the other Christian was nodding his head in agreement with me.<br /><br />She then proceeded to place this Atheist in the same soup as Gays and Lesbians by saying that they are an abomination (which I completely agree with) and that she doesn't associate with them and that she doesn't care for them.<br /><br />I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I can't say that I don't think similar (not the same).<br /><br />I'm not sure where I'm going with this. You see I strongly oppose homosexuality, it grosses me out, I think its unnatural and it could very well be the cause of our demise as it was the cause of demise for the people of Ad and Thamud. I believe that saying that there is no God is being stupid and ungrateful. BUT (and a big BUT it is) I strongly believe in hating the sin and not the sinner.<br /><br />One of the reasons of I love Islam so much is that it teaches us to be kind and compassionate towards others and it teaches us to lead by example. To be the best person you can be, to emulate the teachings of the Prophet (SAW) so as to attract the right attention.<br /><br />I believe Shirk is an unforgivable sin, I also believe that being an Atheist is like committing shirk in that you saying that Science is responsible for the creation of the universe as opposed to Allah (SWT). But at the same time, I don't think that telling an Atheist that he's going to Hell and that he is an Abomination is the best way to bring him to your side.<br /><br />I also think that as Humans as a whole, we need to realize that while Atheism and Homosexuality are major sins, we are in no position to judge anyone as the sad truth is we are all sinners.<br /><br />May Allah SWT guide us all and protect us...ameen.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-31027194813999186922010-07-09T02:36:00.001-07:002010-07-09T02:38:33.914-07:00GASP!Ramadan is fast approaching and I feel I am completely behind on preparing for it.<br /><br />I've got so much to do and so little time to do it in. Nevertheless, I hope this month arrives soon as i do miss it very dearly.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-47872945131503587192010-04-02T19:30:00.000-07:002010-04-02T21:15:38.310-07:00So when you getting married??Urgh. Its one of those questions that makes me want to gag, scream, blow up at someone. Sounds pretty harsh, huh? In reality it isn't that I don't want to get married....because, I do. I would want nothing more that to find a nice man to settle down with. Its just, it seems that question always seems to come up when I finally find contentment in myself, in my life, in being single.<br /><br />You see, I am probably the only girl I know that has had so much bad luck with men. Either I fall for a guy that is perfect but uninterested or I fall for a guy that is interested but turns out to be childish, idiotic, stupid (the list could go on), or guys who just want to have fun and not settle down fall for me. Its like this vicious cycle...and after every bad brother event, I go into my "I hate men" mood. This last time, my "I hate men" mood lasted quite a while, and finally it is over.<br /><br />Finally, attending weddings didn't phase me, my age and spinsterhood didn't phase me, as a matter of fact I have embraced my spinsterhood with open arms, taking it as an opportunity to enjoy life, my friends, and the things I like to do. You see, I believe happiness can exist without a man by your side.<br /><br />Now back to the question, and my response: I get easily irritated with aunties who try to make it sound like I somehow am less of a woman because I am not married, do not have children, don't have a place of my own, etc. I have nothing against marriage when it is done for the right reasons with the right man (and when the right man for me comes out of hiding I will take that step insha'Allah). But please don't come knocking on my door with false promises of happiness and fulfillment if I chose to get married. I'm quite happy on my own, thank you.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-19125380938494682862010-02-28T21:41:00.000-08:002010-02-28T21:44:25.637-08:00Best conversion story<div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iawt0X52c1o&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iawt0X52c1o&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-43963490960720368922010-02-07T20:33:00.000-08:002010-02-07T20:39:25.402-08:00Today.......an old white guy told me that my hijaab makes the beauty of my face stand out...it made my day.<br /><br />He continued to say that "these American women think that showing off every part of their bodies makes them beautiful...its a shame."<br /><br />Subhan'Allah.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-59334080641276580552010-01-31T22:09:00.000-08:002010-01-31T23:03:49.862-08:00Get Educated....and Educate!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgJUfiFkSWFIWnnemqw4m9zXHFZHbawEDLmUkSUa5z1qtSUPBWiA6AEy2K_ObTnmNOM631jLwEqJju7uXDXVmbeR3XiMxkBngDlEtd3ykW9VIXc4nponeDZTNp6cFrYNJKXhIpFzdJVE4/s1600-h/child-abuse.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 273px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgJUfiFkSWFIWnnemqw4m9zXHFZHbawEDLmUkSUa5z1qtSUPBWiA6AEy2K_ObTnmNOM631jLwEqJju7uXDXVmbeR3XiMxkBngDlEtd3ykW9VIXc4nponeDZTNp6cFrYNJKXhIpFzdJVE4/s320/child-abuse.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433167141365774418" border="0" /></a><br />A while ago, I wrote a very personal post which was deleted very soon after I published it. You see, I have a dark secret that I have kept to myself for much of my life. A secret that I wish I had the courage to share with someone close to me. One that has, in my mind robbed me of the innocence of childhood. I was a victim of sexual abuse.<br /><br />I am not writing this post to gain some sort of pity, or to be encouraged by my readers to tell someone I know, or even to confront my abusers. I am writing this post to alert parents. Most instances of child molestation are committed by individuals that are close to the child or family. The offender is often a family member...someone who has easy access to the child, and someone who the child is relatively comfortable around. Unfortunately, this was true in my case.<br /><br />As parents, guardians and caregivers, it is important that we keep a watchful eye on our children, but it is more important that we teach our children what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. Unfortunately, I can speak from experience when I say a child doesn't immediately know or understand what is happening to them is not right. Children, generally, should be accustomed to being loved, hugged and kissed. Their minds are not programmed to understand when a kiss is more than just a normal kiss a child is used to getting. I didn't know that I was being sexually abused until I grew older, well into my teens. I'm not sure if by way of a defense mechanism my mind completely erased what happened to me and it only became apparent to me after I became sexually aware, but while I was going through what I went through, my child mind never once questioned the lewd behavior that was projected towards me.<br /><br />It pains me to say this, but parents need to stop being so trusting of their relatives. It is important that if you leave your child home with a relative that you ask your child what they did with their uncle (for example). Children are innocent, they will tell you. I wish till this day that my mother would have forsaken all political correctness and politeness and that she had explained to me what a good touch and bad touch was so that I might have been able to salvage my childhood.<br /><br />If you are a mother or father of a child, please don't just read this blog entry only to return to doing whatever it was that you were doing earlier. Please, if you haven't already discussed this with your child, drop what you're doing and speak to them. Educate your child, be their guide.<br /><br />And don't for a second think that we are free from such a fitna because we are Muslim. Child molestation is big problem in our communities...it just doesn't get talked about. I want to change that. Start talking...to your child, your neighbor, a family member, your shaykh or community member. Make the community aware of this horrible problem.<br /><br />Also, please check out the <a href="http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/disclaimer.aspx?lang=ENGLISH">Megan's Law</a> website to see if there are any registered sex offenders in your area.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-60060241751320090582009-11-07T17:03:00.000-08:002009-11-08T23:23:58.128-08:00Because you're a girl.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrJehnRJYVlg_SaXXqvi_jvMz2ms4fJs64fBeA7vEPayvge0iitgpSeSDolXC473mJX34rYsJIPtQCHgEBztl2r1jpqCa3RlNEDaZb3w-UbiSlMHNTyRxDRxw_q3nraUtUF7Z0wE7VJuI/s1600-h/28-time-management.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrJehnRJYVlg_SaXXqvi_jvMz2ms4fJs64fBeA7vEPayvge0iitgpSeSDolXC473mJX34rYsJIPtQCHgEBztl2r1jpqCa3RlNEDaZb3w-UbiSlMHNTyRxDRxw_q3nraUtUF7Z0wE7VJuI/s320/28-time-management.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5401532408169559538" border="0" /></a>In my 20-some years of life I have come across some ridiculously stupid comments from brothers...alhamdulilah, never from my own brother (he knows better).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You shouldn't be out late...its not safe, you're a girl. </span>Ok, I can understand if by out you meant out in the streets of the hood where gang bangers are selling dope on the corner...sure, I'll go home...but just because you're a man, doesn't make it safe for you either. I'm sick of men who feel that they have some kind of obligation to play the over-seer of affairs, especially when the man is in NO WAY related to me. Personally, I see nothing wrong with a group of girls getting together for some late-night coffee at a near-by coffee shop or going out for dinner in town. What's wrong with that? And what makes me even more mad is when the brother in question says something like "I'm out there at night, so I know its no place for a girl." Oh dear....if its no place for me...its no place for you either...you're not exempt.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">You should get married young...if you wanna have kids and all. </span>Don't get me started. I'm sorry..but seriously who are you to talk to me about my biological clock? I had this conversation with a brother (no it wasn't made up). This brother was interested in marrying me. And apparently "no" didn't cut if for him. I tried to be nice by making it a "its not you, its me" thing, telling him I'm busy with school and work. Instead, he persisted finally telling me that I'm "not getting any younger" and that I should "really think about settling down and having kids. You see, after a certain age, men won't be interested in you." UM!? are you freaking kidding me? Now, you seem so much more attractive to me than you were 5 minutes ago. I really wanted to tell him how I really felt about him...how it had nothing to do with school but just that he disgusts me and that I can't see myself with him...ever. But I let him have his male ego trip.<br /><br />I've come across countless stupid comments from the male species, but I can't seem to remember them all...perhaps I should walk around with a writing pad and write them down as I hear them.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-22050025973529853962009-10-23T21:34:00.000-07:002009-10-23T21:53:08.341-07:00Project: Lend an Ear<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JSro8OTUBro3NqyCe9Nqj9hyMybtq9Geo4MHDL7hmSjxJIYnOyF-xaA7k5Q7MCak2F3fqaJaSXbkrgIdYIY2Q2vF_05cHb94bLaXAczexH5HBEwt5OxvzFtLrG_VlkpkFbA-mZ7SCbs/s1600-h/homeless.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1JSro8OTUBro3NqyCe9Nqj9hyMybtq9Geo4MHDL7hmSjxJIYnOyF-xaA7k5Q7MCak2F3fqaJaSXbkrgIdYIY2Q2vF_05cHb94bLaXAczexH5HBEwt5OxvzFtLrG_VlkpkFbA-mZ7SCbs/s320/homeless.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396020644425299874" border="0" /></a>Okay so the picture is a little funny and sad at the same time...haha.<br /><br />But just read....<br /><br />I live in the big city...the typical kind you see on TV (for those of you living in Rural areas). I drive to and from school (and other places) in rush hour traffic, I drink my coffee and eat my breakfast on the road...and there is TONS of smog. And like any big city you see in the movies..we have our occasional homeless person who sits on bus stop benches, stands on the corner at freeway exits and entrances and hauls his/her stuff down the crosswalk.<br /><br />Unfortunately, with the recession, I have noticed them more. Before it seemed there was only one homeless for a given large intersection. However recently I have noticed that in my area alone there is one for every street corner and every freeway on-ramp and off-ramp. The recession seems to have hit people pretty bad. Its the worst I've seen. And my parents say its the worst since they've moved to this country. Its a shame.<br /><br />Of course, I can't help but feel sad every time I see one of these distressed souls, sitting, hopeless and quite obviously stressed out. I think it hit me the hardest when I saw a man selling water bottles on a street corner with a sign that read "Ice Cold water $1 a bottle! Laid off father of two girls...please help me put food on the table." I nearly cried. Being broke and jobless myself, I feel almost helpless that I am unable to lend a helping hand to these people. Often if I don't finish my lunch earlier that day...I share it with the first person I find siting on the side of the road with a sign in his/her hand.<br /><br />But one day...if a fury of frustration at my inability to find employment...I realized I just wanted someone to listen. Its frustrating, almost debilitating to constantly try finding a job and not being successful and sometimes just having someone listen to you vent helps (of course money and food would help too....Alhamdulilah I live at home though).<br /><br />So I came up with an idea. The idea is not completely mine...its kind of adopted. Do you remember the "<a href="http://rezwanul.blogspot.com/2008/09/flashmob-iftar.html">Flashmob Iftars</a>" from 2 or 3 years back? Well...on the same note...everyone's gotta eat. I'm sure if you're living in the states (especially now) or anywhere in the world practically you can find at least one person who is less fortunate than yourself. Perhaps the economy has placed them in an unfortunate situation. Well...buy/make a lunch for yourself and one other person. Take that meal to that person and eat with them...speak to them...listen to them...or just sit silently. Reach out.<br /><br />In today's society, Muslims aren't really looked at in a friendly manner...give people a reason to look at us differently and think of us differently.<br /><br />And then...lemme know how your experience was. If you wanna remain anonymous....that's fine.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-28963702782920795162009-10-16T17:43:00.000-07:002009-10-16T18:28:42.566-07:00Hijaab.....is a state of mind<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzdrXVK8PuIw20KgMtSREfDSC9ogBwiGIQPtHFsDaTagm_xglf6PQCR0aF4MSX7e4g4LGrFDMbmV-zjmVDGCyYiXdkH68JicLEsRSrJUq4XvOAh6HWrZb0_E9KQ0FPQNIVP1Z1t7x7uLA/s1600-h/va_-_chain_of_mind.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzdrXVK8PuIw20KgMtSREfDSC9ogBwiGIQPtHFsDaTagm_xglf6PQCR0aF4MSX7e4g4LGrFDMbmV-zjmVDGCyYiXdkH68JicLEsRSrJUq4XvOAh6HWrZb0_E9KQ0FPQNIVP1Z1t7x7uLA/s320/va_-_chain_of_mind.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393363825371337282" border="0" /></a>Over the years, I have come across many types of hijaabis. There's the "I don't talk or look at boys" Hijaabi (I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with her - her lifestyle just doesn't appeal to me), there's the "strictly business" hijaabi (I can relate to her), there's the "he's like my brother" hijaabi (I don't know what to think about her) and the "I'm covered and that's all that matters" hijaabi (I have issues with this one).<br /><br />I want to preface this by saying that I'm not trying to play the holier than thou role here. I am sure there are a million and one things wrong with me and how I observe my hijaab. As a matter of fact, every now and then I'll do a little self evaluation and think the different ways that I totally don't do hijaab or Islam justice (astaghfirullah). I simply want to point out a few things that I've been noticing in my daily dealings with various hijaabis.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The "I don't talk to or look at boys" hijaabi</span>: I used to be her. I had to be her. I felt that I needed to play this role in order to stay on the right path. After the Mr. Possibility situation I went into this mode. It worked for a while, but very quickly proved impossible for me. Notice, I say for me..as there are many sisters who I know are capable of playing this role. This, I think, is the best way to stay out of trouble....it works..but its hard.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The "Strictly business" hijaabi: </span>This more of the type of hijaabi I am. I'll talk to a brother, but only because I need something...or because he needs something. Where some people may have issues with me in this regard is that I am also friendly...not friendly in a flirty manner (never that) but friendly the way you would be with a business colleague. I smile, laugh, joke around etc....but in a respectful manner.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The "he's like my brother" hijaabi: </span>This is the sister that talks freely with and jokes around with brothers with the pretense that "he's like my brother."All I have to say to this sister is...be careful! Just because he's like your brother definitely does NOT mean he is...you're treading dangerous waters. Men are all the same..and their minds are all programed to think the same way. Besides, shaytan is one sneaky fellow. Bottom line, he's not your brother....don't treat him like he is.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The "I'm covered and that's all that matters" hijaabi: </span>So, I have the HUGEST problem with this hijaabi. Okay, maybe that came out wrong. Let me explain. Non-Muslim men for the most part, don't understand hijaab. They are men nonetheless, they hiss and howl like dogs in a meat market at the sight of a pretty lady...even when that pretty lady happens to be a Muslim lady in hijaab. I have come across countless occasions where I have been winked at, had kisses blown at and been flirted with (I'm not that pretty). My general response to such inappropriate behavior is to look the other way and keep walking. However, I have seen other sisters laugh, smile back and even wave. They think its funny, but what this sister doesn't understand is that she just gave Islam a bad name. That man that flirted with her has no idea what Islam is or why we cover and by acting in such a manner you just showed him the Hijaab means nothing. No doubt, you can't help that you are beautiful...Allah (SWT) made you that way, but its a test...and by acting immature...you're failing. To me, hijaab is a form of Dawah. I use it explain why I can't shake a strange man's hand or why I definitely can't hug him. I use my Islamic identity to explain why I can't date, etc. When people mis-portray hijaab it upsets me.<br /><br />This is more of a reminder to myself rather than an attempt to finger point.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-64570495219350810932009-09-27T20:49:00.000-07:002009-09-27T21:00:02.199-07:00True love.....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKO8nqe7JIOV57xYeJKQotMEfq949Tw0r7vOI_J-MWXMQj30VLR0SMzBoatFwGciste4jL_AbQ74dyxistNAvn_VhgTK_f1GT_C7nbZ_Ty5613E_tTS25HYrxZBG9wGBDK_uMmKreQDmM/s1600-h/161_MotherBaby.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 282px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKO8nqe7JIOV57xYeJKQotMEfq949Tw0r7vOI_J-MWXMQj30VLR0SMzBoatFwGciste4jL_AbQ74dyxistNAvn_VhgTK_f1GT_C7nbZ_Ty5613E_tTS25HYrxZBG9wGBDK_uMmKreQDmM/s320/161_MotherBaby.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386360628384983186" border="0" /></a>"I have a question...do you think true love can exist outside of the bond of mother and child?" I looked at him a little confused.<br /><br />"Are you asking me if true love only exists between a mother and a child?" He looks at me in affirmation, and I think about it for a while.<br /><br />"No, I think two people that are not related can truly love one another."<br /><br />"I disagree." He says, "I believe that two people can have a strong like for each other and they can care for each other, but you can truly only love your child or your mother...everything else is like only."<br /><br />I was a little annoyed by the conversation. I always believed that two people could love each other unconditionally and that love could conquer everything...but life has taught me that love definitely cannot conquer anything...and people don't love unconditionally...they just put up with each other.<br /><br />What do you think?hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-15803013029706705452009-09-14T20:05:00.000-07:002009-09-14T20:29:44.625-07:00OMG!!! Did you get engaged!?!?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZGpyGRw9pgtNI9S-42-T2lFLY9F6gsmMefTXZpNNQ1B-71rRQuaT4GBd0Nq8YMAoC0600_hjV1a58CcAMUpV6ogP26HpC2jyRySRvHfbSu49PTsZp5zVDEz9VpMxieV7Q6_f4QrUGmE/s1600-h/engaged.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 217px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZGpyGRw9pgtNI9S-42-T2lFLY9F6gsmMefTXZpNNQ1B-71rRQuaT4GBd0Nq8YMAoC0600_hjV1a58CcAMUpV6ogP26HpC2jyRySRvHfbSu49PTsZp5zVDEz9VpMxieV7Q6_f4QrUGmE/s320/engaged.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381526032924528642" border="0" /></a>So for those of you who know me...you know I'm far from engaged (see other blog).<br /><br />Earlier today I ran into a brother I have known for a very long time. It seems he's been going to school just as long as I have and the two of us have known one another since then. I hadn't seen him for a while, so I stopped to say salaam and see how he was doing. It was rather pleasant catching up with him. As we talk, I notice he is looking at my hands and 10 minutes into our conversation he yells "OMG!!! Did you get engaged!?!" (relax...he's married).<br /><br />I pause for a second in wonder until finally saying... "No, I didn't." And then he says, "Oh, I thought...because of your ring."<br /><br />My ring is on my right hand...I have always worn this ring. And I have always been careful that I never wear any rings on my left hand in fear (or concern, rather) to confuse potential suitors into thinking that I am engaged or worse....married. Perhaps I should refrain from wearing rings all together? Or maybe I should wear a sign that says "I'm single"? Who knew a small piece of jewelry could insight such an assumption.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">For the males reading this</span>...don't assume a girl wearing a ring is engaged or married, especially if the said ring is on her right hand. Generally, the Arab population wears their engagement ring on their right hand...but this is usually a diamond ring or other ring with a pretty gem that looks like it would be a wedding ring. If the ring looks plain, its probably not an engagement ring...especially if its on the right hand.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-42684577171671474812009-09-08T16:15:00.000-07:002009-09-08T17:14:24.707-07:00True Qaulities of the IbadurRahman....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_YF0eTM_ONVVTtylPPSDXAwNc4flupdr1FSN4vmaAIR8I_JoHUFwpsxWrQlJy7d1Zc02bPWY9Bd39e6wEmYz1jE4hcaatXN36ahQqsa6Gk3-HTlchyphenhyphenscP9wJtSBhinfg4QaswpskK37I/s1600-h/060924_muslim.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_YF0eTM_ONVVTtylPPSDXAwNc4flupdr1FSN4vmaAIR8I_JoHUFwpsxWrQlJy7d1Zc02bPWY9Bd39e6wEmYz1jE4hcaatXN36ahQqsa6Gk3-HTlchyphenhyphenscP9wJtSBhinfg4QaswpskK37I/s320/060924_muslim.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379243660722022466" border="0" /></a>(Lessons from Surah Furqan)<br /><br />The day before yesterday we finished reading Surah Furqan in Tarawih. The Shaykh at my masjid does a small 10 minutes lecture on the tafsir of what was read. Of course he is unable in a such a short time to discuss the entire tafsir of the surah so what he does is pull out some significant stories and lessons and bases his lecture on that.<br /><br />After reciting Surah Furqan he discussed the true qualities of an IbadurRahman (servant of Allah - Ar-Rahman). I took notes...<br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman does not walk with pride</span>. He does not stomp his feet and he does not point his nose up high. He walks with humility.<br />Now a days walking with pride is something that we as Muslims do so much of. We walk into the masjid like we own the place as if the ground we walk on is blessed or something.<br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman says Salaam</span>. This doesn't refer to just saying salam when you see another Muslim or upon leaving a gathering, this refers to saying salaam in such situations where there is nothing better to say than "salaam." For example, when you are having a trivial argument that is going nowhere, instead of wasting your time arguing when your time could be invested in something more worth while, stop the argument by saying "salaam" and walking away. In other words saying "you believe in what you want to believe in and I'll believe in what I want to believe in."<br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman prays Qiyam-ul-Layl</span>. Alhamdulilah, local masajid have programs where people can come and pray qiyam-ul-layl in congregation. Alhamdulilah it seems many of the youth partake in such practices. The beauty of praying Tahajjud is that the entire world is asleep and it is just you and your Rabb. It is very easy for a person who prays to show off to pray while everyone is awake, but it is impossible for this person to wake up in the middle of the night when most of the world is sleeping, make wudhu and pray. Subhan'Allah praying Qiyam-ul-Layl is special.<br /><br />4. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman is not wasteful in his spending</span>. While Allah (SWT) grants one money to spend it, it is not meant to be done in a wasteful manner. People should spend in a manner that is suitable to their means. Often times, today, we see people taking out loans for fancy cars to make a show to society. Or we will see people buying expensive designer purses that can cost $300, $400, $500 or more simply to show off that they have a designer bag. This isn't to say that a Muslim should be miserly either...people should spend within their means. Wear nice clothes, look nice, drive a decent car, but don't overspend.<br /><br />5. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman does not kill unjustly</span>. I don't think this requires commentary.<br /><br />6. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman avoids Shirk</span>. This does not just refer to overt shirk of ascribing partners to Allah (SWT) as the pagans have. The thing is, in today's society there is a certain degree of shirk when medicine works, instead of us acknowledging that Allah (SWT) cured us, we ascribe the cure to the medicine. When we get a promotion we are very quick to give ourselves high fives for the hard work that we have done but forget to make shurk to Allah (SWT). Even Riya (hypocrisy) is a form of shirk because a hypocrite does his worship in order to show the people rather than to please Allah (SWT).<br /><br />7. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman avoids Adultery</span>. This refers to zina of the eyes, zina of the tongue, zina of the hands. In this day and age we live in a society where it is very easy to get caught up in zina, we have cyberspace at our fingertips and it is very easy to fall into Shaytan's trap. Its important for us to have pure intentions at all time so that our thoughts will be pure.<br /><br />8. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman avoids lying</span>. When asked a question, a true Muslim will always give the truth to the best of his/her ability. Enough said.<br /><br />9. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman obeys the command of Allah and his Rasool (SAW)</span>. How often do we question someone when they say Allah (SWT) says in the Quran "XYZ"? Or the Rasool (SAW) says "WZY" and then someone carries on to say, "you know, not all Hadith are sound." Or they ask vague what if questions in a trivial attempt to undermine what was said by the person. What happened to the days when a revelation would come and immediately the people exhibited the change? Unfortunately I never knew those times, but it would be nice if we could emulate that attitude.<br /><br />10. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman fears for their family</span>. Not only are they worried about their own spiritual well-being, they worry about the spiritual well-being of their family. They encourage their children to learn about the deen, they make Islam part of family life.<br /><br />11. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A true IbadurRahman fears Allah</span>.<br /><br />Disclaimer: I think the Shaykh mentioned 13 Qualities...and I only have 11...sorry.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-80851099405054274842009-09-07T17:50:00.000-07:002009-09-07T18:06:45.374-07:00What not to wear to the masjid....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjoUAZPOA7fBijFWz8NgW-hrxGiZQRa5-Lt8QKi1TX-P65nOLNOgD4keU_99BB4nlm6ABSDqIt0QQqPh0ye6iywsjJaLUj1MpjAmMYPBgSrapMXpEWv5_qu67-6Fjk0bYr-1lAkHCmsWY/s1600-h/skinny-jeans-yes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 263px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjoUAZPOA7fBijFWz8NgW-hrxGiZQRa5-Lt8QKi1TX-P65nOLNOgD4keU_99BB4nlm6ABSDqIt0QQqPh0ye6iywsjJaLUj1MpjAmMYPBgSrapMXpEWv5_qu67-6Fjk0bYr-1lAkHCmsWY/s320/skinny-jeans-yes.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378893091981381938" border="0" /></a>So the title suggests that I will list out a number of thing not to wear at the masjid...but perhaps I'll take a different approach and just rant and rave like I normally do.<br /><br />Lately, being that its Ramadan, I have found myself frequenting a number of the local masajid in my area, attending Qiyams, lectures, Tarawih, Iftar etc. And I have noticed a trend among many of the younger sisters. By younger I mean middle school/high school aged sisters. I won't totally blame them, their mothers should critique the manner in which they dress before they leave the house for the masjid and their older sisters in the community should be better role models. The trend?? <span style="font-size:130%;">Dressing inappropriately</span>.<br /><br />Subhan'Allah there are times when sisters walk into the masjid that I feel like I need to look away....I can imagine how daunting it is for the brothers. Poor poor brothers, they come to the masjid during Ramadan to pray Qiyam-ul-layl and still they are plagued with the challenge of looking away as a young sister with wide hips and a big booty walking by in her butt-tight skinny jeans. I know its Ramadan and I know shaytan is locked up, but boys will be boys.<br /><br />My other pet peeve is the sister who walks into the masjid with a hijaab that's half falling off her head, while her nicely curled locks are peaking out. Or the sister who's make-up looks like she's dressed and ready to go to prom. Subhan'Allah, this is the masjid. Now, I think I could be a little more tolerant if these sisters were quiet, listening or even inside the masjid. Maybe this is the night that their hearts will open because of something the shaykh said? The problem is this is usually the sister that is in and out of the masjid, talking loudly, etc. attracting more attention to herself as if her curvy figure hasn't done so already.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, properly dressed hijaabi girls are no better! On the same note, not all the inappropriately dressed sisters are a problem. I'm not sure really what I'm trying to get at. Its just, it seems to me lately that our masjids have turn into these fashion parades and hook up joints. Its as if girls get dressed in their best attire with the intention to get hooked up at the masjid. DONT get me wrong...I would no better place to meet my man than the masjid...its just if it was done with a little more decency and a little more class that would be great!<br /><br />On the other hand...I'm glad these sisters and their young counter parts are actually at the masjid at 2am on a Saturday night rather than some house party....so Alhamdulilah. <br /><br />I just feel like if you have a little sister, tell she's beautiful just the way she is and that she doesn't need to flaunt her assets. I think us older sisters need to step up to the plate and be big sisters and guide the little ones...and if there's a brother reading this blog (which i doubt) do the same for your little brothers.<br /><br />Perhaps I am hypoglycemic...cuz I feel like I just made no sense....<br /><br />....end rant...hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-40802661393545755332009-08-24T18:17:00.000-07:002009-08-24T23:18:19.364-07:00The past is non-existant<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQEVT0V4ObHuudem_YLxQAx0wjdKVbRz8hjyizFpSjUL_ndeVAO0I80pfhwRtnglLPqRQngs8-7_W90Es0sEIKv4gdewBnM9bkkGX3Qrb9nvfal9unHu3Ea-F08S7RhVUd3rF0Apx4qz8/s1600-h/TIME.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQEVT0V4ObHuudem_YLxQAx0wjdKVbRz8hjyizFpSjUL_ndeVAO0I80pfhwRtnglLPqRQngs8-7_W90Es0sEIKv4gdewBnM9bkkGX3Qrb9nvfal9unHu3Ea-F08S7RhVUd3rF0Apx4qz8/s320/TIME.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5373704813837582002" border="0" /></a>By brooding over the past and its tragedies, one exhibits a form of insanity - a kind of sickeness tat destroys resolve to live for the present moment. Those who have a firm purpose have filed away and forgotten occurrences of the past, which will never again see light, since they occupy such a dark place in the recesses of the mind. Episodes of the past are finished with; sadness cannot make things right, and depression will never bring the past back to life. This is because <span style="font-weight: bold;">the past is non-existent. <span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><br />Do not live in the nightmare of former times or under the shade of what you have missed. Save yourself from the ghostly apparition of the past. Do you think that you can return the sun to its place of rising, the baby to its mother's womb, milk to the udder or tears to the eye? By constantly dwelling on the past and its happenings, you place yourself in a very frightful and tragic state of mind.<br />Reading too much into the past is a waste of the present. When Allah mentioned the affairs of the previous nations, He the Exalted, said:<br /><blockquote></blockquote><blockquote>That was a nation who has passed away (Quran 2:134)</blockquote>Former days are gone and done with, and you benefit nothing by carrying out an autopsy over them, by turning back the wheels of history.<br />The person who lives in the past is like someone who tries to saw sawdust. Of old, they used to say "Do not remove the dead from their graves."<br />Our tragedy is that we are incapable of dealing with the present: neglecting our beautiful castles, we wail over dilapidated buildings. If every man and every jinn were to try jointly to bring back the past, they would most certainly fail. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Everything on earth marches forward</span>, preparing for a new season - and so should you.<br /><br />- 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni (Don't Be Sad)<br /><blockquote></blockquote>This is more of a reminder for myself than anything. Often times its hard to look forward in times of difficulty and get on with life (at least it is for me). However, I am going to make this my Ramadan goal...to march forward like everything else on earth and prepare for what's next instead of worrying about what has already happened...INSHA'ALLAH.<br /><br />Please remember me, my family and the Muslim Ummah in your dua this Ramadan.<br /><br /><blockquote></blockquote><br /><blockquote></blockquote>hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-80528161743433927492009-04-13T00:03:00.001-07:002009-04-13T00:08:14.112-07:00Spring of my heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTj0spXHab9Aalay0A3Jihk9DKAey9L1Dg30XsiePaVjTgJCGpxj1JV8tfSHbTDrlcXkgozlTfOMdnw1CJRry7jV_rcd_4XDDG4n0VG_EyloEfFpJ-cKUW8JNNQu5GcNGXbmUqkvM_OM/s1600-h/369722107_04206b5d73.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTj0spXHab9Aalay0A3Jihk9DKAey9L1Dg30XsiePaVjTgJCGpxj1JV8tfSHbTDrlcXkgozlTfOMdnw1CJRry7jV_rcd_4XDDG4n0VG_EyloEfFpJ-cKUW8JNNQu5GcNGXbmUqkvM_OM/s320/369722107_04206b5d73.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324068254528667954" border="0" /></a>O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of your male slave and the son of your female slave. My forehead is in your hand. Your judgment upon me is assured and Your decree concerning me is just.<br />I ask You by every name that You have named Yourself with, revealed in Your book, taught anyone of Your creation, or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You, to make the Quran the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness, and the reliever of my distress.<br /><br />AMEEN<br /><br />(Taken from the Fortress of a Muslim)hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7047669476288565110.post-43538162838530754372009-04-05T18:50:00.000-07:002009-04-05T21:09:16.662-07:00I love nature....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirvyRqS56l8XBogytAhsmdHb28MDke5JPtqYV5tTJI1F7WzAT-aVK-phpyPr-Dh62fnO7ZMxSS0wUlob_phd05Fr3sSQ2PSivu3C6M895XuMJ8xasaUgBM64sdS7POQwAXzmY7kXZhKXA/s1600-h/pray.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirvyRqS56l8XBogytAhsmdHb28MDke5JPtqYV5tTJI1F7WzAT-aVK-phpyPr-Dh62fnO7ZMxSS0wUlob_phd05Fr3sSQ2PSivu3C6M895XuMJ8xasaUgBM64sdS7POQwAXzmY7kXZhKXA/s320/pray.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5321389934410999522" border="0" /></a><br />I have always had this amazing relationship with nature. I am often overtaken with awe at the beauty of Allah's (SWT) creation from trees of different colors, fields of flowers, snow-capped mountains and even hills that are covered with lush green grass over a backdrop of overcast skies with just a touch of moisture to add some mist to your car window. Sometimes this beauty hinders my ability to drive safely because I am so inclined to stare with a smile on my face and "subhan'Allah" on my lips that I forget that I share the road with thousands of people in a rush to get to work and in the mood to deal with Sunday drivers like myself.<br />I enjoy sitting in empty fields, alone, free to contemplate and reflect on life and even talk to myself without having to worry about who hears me - except, of course, my creator. I feel like anyone who lives in what my father calls a "concrete jungle" needs to get away every now and again to be able to give himself the time to enjoy the beauty of nature, such beauty softens the heart. I mean, bring an amazing architect and sure, he can build and absolutely breath-taking building, but bring the most experienced land scrapers and none of them can even come close to creating something as beautiful as what Allah (SWT) Himself creates.<br />Not too long ago, I drove down to a local desert (not the one pictured above...that is somewhere in the Middle East). I prayed maghrib there. As my forehead hit the sand while I was in sujood, I couldn't help but think about the Prophet (SAW) and the Sahaba (RA) and how they prayed in the middle of the desert and a chill went down my back. I had the same feeling a while back when I was in the Middle East. Oh, how I wish I was there. When I spent time in the desert in the Middle East, I watched the sunset thinking subhan'Allah the Prophets (AS) could have walked through this very desert, the sahaba (RA) could have rode their camels through here. And when it got dark, I thought about how I had full service on my cell phone and then thought about how the Prophets (AS) really had nothing of the sort.<br />As the sun disappeared and the sky got pitch black, I was unable to see my hand as I held it out in front of my face. I got that stomach drop feeling you get when you take the first drop of a rollercoaster - subhan'Allah when the prophet (SAW) traveled in the night during the Hijrah, it was pitch black and he didn't have a cell phone or any other communicating device. The amount of sacrifice the Prophets (AS) and Sahaba (RA) made for the deen is absolutely unsurpassable - its a shame that we sin on a daily basis and often do not represent Islam as we should. It breaks my heart - and unfortunately I am as guilty as anyone.hijaabified.beautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05881880956097717407noreply@blogger.com2