A Muslim, 2 Christians and an Atheist

...no this isn't a joke....seriously.

I worked last night. Nurses are human, we get sleepy during our shifts, especially when we work nights because the truth is, no matter how used to working nights you are, sleeping in the day and working at night is unnatural!

Anyways...around 4 am when us nurses start to get sleepy, we either take a quick break (which is really nap time) or we engage in some sort of discussion. So last night as we are hanging out at the station one of the nurses (a Christian) asks this other nurse (an Atheist who happens to be Indian) what religion he follows. Knowing that this nurse happens to be pretty religious, he kind of refrains, but after much pestering, he gives in.. "I don't believe in God, I'm Atheist"

She now looks at me, "HB, what religion does he follow?" I answer "He's Atheist." This Atheist nurse and I have been 'friends' for a while now, I know his story.

She continues, "Are you serious??" I answer, "Yes, that's what he told me when we met." You see, everyone seems to take my hijaab as a green light to discuss religion...and I welcome it with open arms as long as the discussion doesn't turn into something hateful toward Islam or Muslims.

The Atheist and I thought that that was pretty much the end of the discussion. I mean, you ask a question, its answered and that's that, but she continues after a brief silence, "you know, I'm going to say something and I hope it doesn't offend you, but I'm gonna say it: The fact that you don't believe in God makes me uncomfortable, I feel like you bring a negative force around me and I don't like to have people like that around me."

Now, as a Muslim, I believe in God. I believe that nothing is possible without Him and that everything is possible only because He makes it possible. I cannot fathom disbelief in the existence of God, but I feel that that comment completely crossed all lines.

So in comes the second Christian: "So wait, it makes you uncomfortable that he doesn't believe in God? What does his disbelief in God do to effect you?"

"It brings negative energy and I don't associate myself with people that bring negative energy around me, I distance myself from them."

I'm sitting here trying to conjure up a response. Here it is: "He's a human being, there is no compulsion in religion. God doesn't need people to worship him, people need to have a superior being to worship. His choice to believe or not to believe in God is a personal choice, but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad person in general."

I don't even know her response, the other Christian was nodding his head in agreement with me.

She then proceeded to place this Atheist in the same soup as Gays and Lesbians by saying that they are an abomination (which I completely agree with) and that she doesn't associate with them and that she doesn't care for them.

I suppose everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I can't say that I don't think similar (not the same).

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. You see I strongly oppose homosexuality, it grosses me out, I think its unnatural and it could very well be the cause of our demise as it was the cause of demise for the people of Ad and Thamud. I believe that saying that there is no God is being stupid and ungrateful. BUT (and a big BUT it is) I strongly believe in hating the sin and not the sinner.

One of the reasons of I love Islam so much is that it teaches us to be kind and compassionate towards others and it teaches us to lead by example. To be the best person you can be, to emulate the teachings of the Prophet (SAW) so as to attract the right attention.

I believe Shirk is an unforgivable sin, I also believe that being an Atheist is like committing shirk in that you saying that Science is responsible for the creation of the universe as opposed to Allah (SWT). But at the same time, I don't think that telling an Atheist that he's going to Hell and that he is an Abomination is the best way to bring him to your side.

I also think that as Humans as a whole, we need to realize that while Atheism and Homosexuality are major sins, we are in no position to judge anyone as the sad truth is we are all sinners.

May Allah SWT guide us all and protect us...ameen.

GASP!

Ramadan is fast approaching and I feel I am completely behind on preparing for it.

I've got so much to do and so little time to do it in. Nevertheless, I hope this month arrives soon as i do miss it very dearly.

So when you getting married??

Urgh. Its one of those questions that makes me want to gag, scream, blow up at someone. Sounds pretty harsh, huh? In reality it isn't that I don't want to get married....because, I do. I would want nothing more that to find a nice man to settle down with. Its just, it seems that question always seems to come up when I finally find contentment in myself, in my life, in being single.

You see, I am probably the only girl I know that has had so much bad luck with men. Either I fall for a guy that is perfect but uninterested or I fall for a guy that is interested but turns out to be childish, idiotic, stupid (the list could go on), or guys who just want to have fun and not settle down fall for me. Its like this vicious cycle...and after every bad brother event, I go into my "I hate men" mood. This last time, my "I hate men" mood lasted quite a while, and finally it is over.

Finally, attending weddings didn't phase me, my age and spinsterhood didn't phase me, as a matter of fact I have embraced my spinsterhood with open arms, taking it as an opportunity to enjoy life, my friends, and the things I like to do. You see, I believe happiness can exist without a man by your side.

Now back to the question, and my response: I get easily irritated with aunties who try to make it sound like I somehow am less of a woman because I am not married, do not have children, don't have a place of my own, etc. I have nothing against marriage when it is done for the right reasons with the right man (and when the right man for me comes out of hiding I will take that step insha'Allah). But please don't come knocking on my door with false promises of happiness and fulfillment if I chose to get married. I'm quite happy on my own, thank you.

Best conversion story

Today....

...an old white guy told me that my hijaab makes the beauty of my face stand out...it made my day.

He continued to say that "these American women think that showing off every part of their bodies makes them beautiful...its a shame."

Subhan'Allah.

Get Educated....and Educate!

A while ago, I wrote a very personal post which was deleted very soon after I published it. You see, I have a dark secret that I have kept to myself for much of my life. A secret that I wish I had the courage to share with someone close to me. One that has, in my mind robbed me of the innocence of childhood. I was a victim of sexual abuse.

I am not writing this post to gain some sort of pity, or to be encouraged by my readers to tell someone I know, or even to confront my abusers. I am writing this post to alert parents. Most instances of child molestation are committed by individuals that are close to the child or family. The offender is often a family member...someone who has easy access to the child, and someone who the child is relatively comfortable around. Unfortunately, this was true in my case.

As parents, guardians and caregivers, it is important that we keep a watchful eye on our children, but it is more important that we teach our children what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. Unfortunately, I can speak from experience when I say a child doesn't immediately know or understand what is happening to them is not right. Children, generally, should be accustomed to being loved, hugged and kissed. Their minds are not programmed to understand when a kiss is more than just a normal kiss a child is used to getting. I didn't know that I was being sexually abused until I grew older, well into my teens. I'm not sure if by way of a defense mechanism my mind completely erased what happened to me and it only became apparent to me after I became sexually aware, but while I was going through what I went through, my child mind never once questioned the lewd behavior that was projected towards me.

It pains me to say this, but parents need to stop being so trusting of their relatives. It is important that if you leave your child home with a relative that you ask your child what they did with their uncle (for example). Children are innocent, they will tell you. I wish till this day that my mother would have forsaken all political correctness and politeness and that she had explained to me what a good touch and bad touch was so that I might have been able to salvage my childhood.

If you are a mother or father of a child, please don't just read this blog entry only to return to doing whatever it was that you were doing earlier. Please, if you haven't already discussed this with your child, drop what you're doing and speak to them. Educate your child, be their guide.

And don't for a second think that we are free from such a fitna because we are Muslim. Child molestation is big problem in our communities...it just doesn't get talked about. I want to change that. Start talking...to your child, your neighbor, a family member, your shaykh or community member. Make the community aware of this horrible problem.

Also, please check out the Megan's Law website to see if there are any registered sex offenders in your area.

Because you're a girl.

In my 20-some years of life I have come across some ridiculously stupid comments from brothers...alhamdulilah, never from my own brother (he knows better).

You shouldn't be out late...its not safe, you're a girl. Ok, I can understand if by out you meant out in the streets of the hood where gang bangers are selling dope on the corner...sure, I'll go home...but just because you're a man, doesn't make it safe for you either. I'm sick of men who feel that they have some kind of obligation to play the over-seer of affairs, especially when the man is in NO WAY related to me. Personally, I see nothing wrong with a group of girls getting together for some late-night coffee at a near-by coffee shop or going out for dinner in town. What's wrong with that? And what makes me even more mad is when the brother in question says something like "I'm out there at night, so I know its no place for a girl." Oh dear....if its no place for me...its no place for you either...you're not exempt.

You should get married young...if you wanna have kids and all. Don't get me started. I'm sorry..but seriously who are you to talk to me about my biological clock? I had this conversation with a brother (no it wasn't made up). This brother was interested in marrying me. And apparently "no" didn't cut if for him. I tried to be nice by making it a "its not you, its me" thing, telling him I'm busy with school and work. Instead, he persisted finally telling me that I'm "not getting any younger" and that I should "really think about settling down and having kids. You see, after a certain age, men won't be interested in you." UM!? are you freaking kidding me? Now, you seem so much more attractive to me than you were 5 minutes ago. I really wanted to tell him how I really felt about him...how it had nothing to do with school but just that he disgusts me and that I can't see myself with him...ever. But I let him have his male ego trip.

I've come across countless stupid comments from the male species, but I can't seem to remember them all...perhaps I should walk around with a writing pad and write them down as I hear them.