Sunday, April 3, 2011


So my question is....How long is too long??

To wait for a brother to get in touch with you after he says he's interested in you and you agree to allow him to contact you.

I'm someone who is attached to my phone, my emails are fed to me directly and immediately. I am ALWAYS in contact with humans. So perhaps I'm a little needy when it comes to receiving an email that says "Hi, I'm the guy that was interested in getting to know you for marriage. When can I set up a meeting with you and your parents (or brother)?"

Anyone wanna shed some light on this.


Hisham said...

Like one rapper said 'it ain't hard to tell':)and based on my experience as a man i can tell you if a guy is not feeling you like that for whatever reason; getting back/in contact with you would not be priority. i mean if she contacts me or even if i contact her; you know as Muslims we supposed to keep it cordial. But to say i'd be on the look-out for that particular cook-out; nah buddy; i'll maintain my mondays and thursdays fast.

Hisham said...

forget to add; its like what sisters do to brothers all the time: most likely at this stage the brother already regulated you to the status we so love; i.e. 'friend zone'. said...

Hmm..interesting take.

But like I said..he's the one that said he was interested. I simply agreed to give it a shot. At any turns out the brother was simply busy.

Look-out for a cook-out? Ummm LOL (literally)

I don't know many sisters that put brothers in a "friend zone." I'm not really sure that really has a place in our religion. Actually, I've even spoken to a lot of my non-Muslim friends about this...I honestly don't believe guys and gals can be "friends."

RedBerries said...

There isn't a time limit. What if he really is busy? Personal stuff, work stuff...he has a life, and you are yet to be a priority. It's a hard situation...maybe if you haven't heard back in a couple of weeks, then that'll be a better sign?

SoulSeek said...

How long has it been since he said he's interested?

Based on this I'll drop my thoughts.

That said, he should still let you know within a week or two out principle and respect. All of us guys know the score. said...

Well, it was wa about a week and half since I recieved any feedback from this brother. However, as I stated in my comment earlier, he was, just busy with both school n work.

The reason I asked was because, generally, from my experience..if the brother knows you and iys the initiator of interest, he generally shoots a message ur way pretty quickly. Not the same day, but at least in a couple days.

SoulSeek said...

Generally, yes but everyone's reality is different. If he said he's interested - don't fret about it :)

Haych said...

If he hasn't made his intentions clear then maybe get your friend to drop some (not so) subtle hints to him. Is your friend who initiated the contact female? If so - great - maybe the guy in question needs some gentle female guiding - or a big shove in the right direction. Regardless though, Allah will (insha'allah)do whats best for both of you. said...

** scroll up **

I managed to get in touch with the brother. He was in fact busy. Alhamdulilah things are going well so far.

to be continued.

single4now said...

So how are things going then? You pretty much seem to have stopped right after this post. said...


WOW, so yes, I did disappear off the face of the blogsphere after this and the post after this. got super busy right after all that.

For one, people started to notice who I might be...friends of mine happened to stumble across this and started asking if I was I know lying is a sin...I'm not ready to give up my identity.

As for what happened. The said brother that took forever to email finally did. And we hit it off from the get go...and well 8 months later we got married and have been married since alhamdulilah.

He's the best thing that's happened to me. And as cliche as it sounds he was indeed the missing piece to my puzzle.

So after all that wedding stuff, moving, working and being a wife I kinda decided to stop blogging. I got busy...and also I don't want him to know about this blog either (sounds bad? but there are things in this blog I haven't told anyone in real life...things I'd rather keep locked up in here) So instead of sneaking and looking suspicious or giving him something to think I look like I'm up to something...I decided to give it up.

I hope you are all well...I was bored, he's sleeping and I just wanted to know if ppl still cared about this old blog LOL.

SoulSeek said...

Assalamu Alaikum,

Verily Allah is the best of planners :)

Wonderful news and I'm really pleased for you. I pray Allah grants you both a lifelong of happiness and righteous children.

single4now said...

MashaAllah, that's great news! I'm glad you decided to come back and update us. :D Do keep us single folk in your duas as well. :P