Sunday, September 27, 2009

True love.....

"I have a you think true love can exist outside of the bond of mother and child?" I looked at him a little confused.

"Are you asking me if true love only exists between a mother and a child?" He looks at me in affirmation, and I think about it for a while.

"No, I think two people that are not related can truly love one another."

"I disagree." He says, "I believe that two people can have a strong like for each other and they can care for each other, but you can truly only love your child or your mother...everything else is like only."

I was a little annoyed by the conversation. I always believed that two people could love each other unconditionally and that love could conquer everything...but life has taught me that love definitely cannot conquer anything...and people don't love unconditionally...they just put up with each other.

What do you think?

Monday, September 14, 2009

OMG!!! Did you get engaged!?!?

So for those of you who know know I'm far from engaged (see other blog).

Earlier today I ran into a brother I have known for a very long time. It seems he's been going to school just as long as I have and the two of us have known one another since then. I hadn't seen him for a while, so I stopped to say salaam and see how he was doing. It was rather pleasant catching up with him. As we talk, I notice he is looking at my hands and 10 minutes into our conversation he yells "OMG!!! Did you get engaged!?!" (relax...he's married).

I pause for a second in wonder until finally saying... "No, I didn't." And then he says, "Oh, I thought...because of your ring."

My ring is on my right hand...I have always worn this ring. And I have always been careful that I never wear any rings on my left hand in fear (or concern, rather) to confuse potential suitors into thinking that I am engaged or worse....married. Perhaps I should refrain from wearing rings all together? Or maybe I should wear a sign that says "I'm single"? Who knew a small piece of jewelry could insight such an assumption.

For the males reading this...don't assume a girl wearing a ring is engaged or married, especially if the said ring is on her right hand. Generally, the Arab population wears their engagement ring on their right hand...but this is usually a diamond ring or other ring with a pretty gem that looks like it would be a wedding ring. If the ring looks plain, its probably not an engagement ring...especially if its on the right hand.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

True Qaulities of the IbadurRahman....

(Lessons from Surah Furqan)

The day before yesterday we finished reading Surah Furqan in Tarawih. The Shaykh at my masjid does a small 10 minutes lecture on the tafsir of what was read. Of course he is unable in a such a short time to discuss the entire tafsir of the surah so what he does is pull out some significant stories and lessons and bases his lecture on that.

After reciting Surah Furqan he discussed the true qualities of an IbadurRahman (servant of Allah - Ar-Rahman). I took notes...

1. A true IbadurRahman does not walk with pride. He does not stomp his feet and he does not point his nose up high. He walks with humility.
Now a days walking with pride is something that we as Muslims do so much of. We walk into the masjid like we own the place as if the ground we walk on is blessed or something.

2. A true IbadurRahman says Salaam. This doesn't refer to just saying salam when you see another Muslim or upon leaving a gathering, this refers to saying salaam in such situations where there is nothing better to say than "salaam." For example, when you are having a trivial argument that is going nowhere, instead of wasting your time arguing when your time could be invested in something more worth while, stop the argument by saying "salaam" and walking away. In other words saying "you believe in what you want to believe in and I'll believe in what I want to believe in."

3. A true IbadurRahman prays Qiyam-ul-Layl. Alhamdulilah, local masajid have programs where people can come and pray qiyam-ul-layl in congregation. Alhamdulilah it seems many of the youth partake in such practices. The beauty of praying Tahajjud is that the entire world is asleep and it is just you and your Rabb. It is very easy for a person who prays to show off to pray while everyone is awake, but it is impossible for this person to wake up in the middle of the night when most of the world is sleeping, make wudhu and pray. Subhan'Allah praying Qiyam-ul-Layl is special.

4. A true IbadurRahman is not wasteful in his spending. While Allah (SWT) grants one money to spend it, it is not meant to be done in a wasteful manner. People should spend in a manner that is suitable to their means. Often times, today, we see people taking out loans for fancy cars to make a show to society. Or we will see people buying expensive designer purses that can cost $300, $400, $500 or more simply to show off that they have a designer bag. This isn't to say that a Muslim should be miserly either...people should spend within their means. Wear nice clothes, look nice, drive a decent car, but don't overspend.

5. A true IbadurRahman does not kill unjustly. I don't think this requires commentary.

6. A true IbadurRahman avoids Shirk. This does not just refer to overt shirk of ascribing partners to Allah (SWT) as the pagans have. The thing is, in today's society there is a certain degree of shirk when medicine works, instead of us acknowledging that Allah (SWT) cured us, we ascribe the cure to the medicine. When we get a promotion we are very quick to give ourselves high fives for the hard work that we have done but forget to make shurk to Allah (SWT). Even Riya (hypocrisy) is a form of shirk because a hypocrite does his worship in order to show the people rather than to please Allah (SWT).

7. A true IbadurRahman avoids Adultery. This refers to zina of the eyes, zina of the tongue, zina of the hands. In this day and age we live in a society where it is very easy to get caught up in zina, we have cyberspace at our fingertips and it is very easy to fall into Shaytan's trap. Its important for us to have pure intentions at all time so that our thoughts will be pure.

8. A true IbadurRahman avoids lying. When asked a question, a true Muslim will always give the truth to the best of his/her ability. Enough said.

9. A true IbadurRahman obeys the command of Allah and his Rasool (SAW). How often do we question someone when they say Allah (SWT) says in the Quran "XYZ"? Or the Rasool (SAW) says "WZY" and then someone carries on to say, "you know, not all Hadith are sound." Or they ask vague what if questions in a trivial attempt to undermine what was said by the person. What happened to the days when a revelation would come and immediately the people exhibited the change? Unfortunately I never knew those times, but it would be nice if we could emulate that attitude.

10. A true IbadurRahman fears for their family. Not only are they worried about their own spiritual well-being, they worry about the spiritual well-being of their family. They encourage their children to learn about the deen, they make Islam part of family life.

11. A true IbadurRahman fears Allah.

Disclaimer: I think the Shaykh mentioned 13 Qualities...and I only have 11...sorry.

Monday, September 7, 2009

What not to wear to the masjid....

So the title suggests that I will list out a number of thing not to wear at the masjid...but perhaps I'll take a different approach and just rant and rave like I normally do.

Lately, being that its Ramadan, I have found myself frequenting a number of the local masajid in my area, attending Qiyams, lectures, Tarawih, Iftar etc. And I have noticed a trend among many of the younger sisters. By younger I mean middle school/high school aged sisters. I won't totally blame them, their mothers should critique the manner in which they dress before they leave the house for the masjid and their older sisters in the community should be better role models. The trend?? Dressing inappropriately.

Subhan'Allah there are times when sisters walk into the masjid that I feel like I need to look away....I can imagine how daunting it is for the brothers. Poor poor brothers, they come to the masjid during Ramadan to pray Qiyam-ul-layl and still they are plagued with the challenge of looking away as a young sister with wide hips and a big booty walking by in her butt-tight skinny jeans. I know its Ramadan and I know shaytan is locked up, but boys will be boys.

My other pet peeve is the sister who walks into the masjid with a hijaab that's half falling off her head, while her nicely curled locks are peaking out. Or the sister who's make-up looks like she's dressed and ready to go to prom. Subhan'Allah, this is the masjid. Now, I think I could be a little more tolerant if these sisters were quiet, listening or even inside the masjid. Maybe this is the night that their hearts will open because of something the shaykh said? The problem is this is usually the sister that is in and out of the masjid, talking loudly, etc. attracting more attention to herself as if her curvy figure hasn't done so already.

Don't get me wrong, properly dressed hijaabi girls are no better! On the same note, not all the inappropriately dressed sisters are a problem. I'm not sure really what I'm trying to get at. Its just, it seems to me lately that our masjids have turn into these fashion parades and hook up joints. Its as if girls get dressed in their best attire with the intention to get hooked up at the masjid. DONT get me wrong...I would no better place to meet my man than the masjid...its just if it was done with a little more decency and a little more class that would be great!

On the other hand...I'm glad these sisters and their young counter parts are actually at the masjid at 2am on a Saturday night rather than some house Alhamdulilah.

I just feel like if you have a little sister, tell she's beautiful just the way she is and that she doesn't need to flaunt her assets. I think us older sisters need to step up to the plate and be big sisters and guide the little ones...and if there's a brother reading this blog (which i doubt) do the same for your little brothers.

Perhaps I am hypoglycemic...cuz I feel like I just made no sense....

....end rant...