Monday, September 7, 2009

What not to wear to the masjid....

So the title suggests that I will list out a number of thing not to wear at the masjid...but perhaps I'll take a different approach and just rant and rave like I normally do.

Lately, being that its Ramadan, I have found myself frequenting a number of the local masajid in my area, attending Qiyams, lectures, Tarawih, Iftar etc. And I have noticed a trend among many of the younger sisters. By younger I mean middle school/high school aged sisters. I won't totally blame them, their mothers should critique the manner in which they dress before they leave the house for the masjid and their older sisters in the community should be better role models. The trend?? Dressing inappropriately.

Subhan'Allah there are times when sisters walk into the masjid that I feel like I need to look away....I can imagine how daunting it is for the brothers. Poor poor brothers, they come to the masjid during Ramadan to pray Qiyam-ul-layl and still they are plagued with the challenge of looking away as a young sister with wide hips and a big booty walking by in her butt-tight skinny jeans. I know its Ramadan and I know shaytan is locked up, but boys will be boys.

My other pet peeve is the sister who walks into the masjid with a hijaab that's half falling off her head, while her nicely curled locks are peaking out. Or the sister who's make-up looks like she's dressed and ready to go to prom. Subhan'Allah, this is the masjid. Now, I think I could be a little more tolerant if these sisters were quiet, listening or even inside the masjid. Maybe this is the night that their hearts will open because of something the shaykh said? The problem is this is usually the sister that is in and out of the masjid, talking loudly, etc. attracting more attention to herself as if her curvy figure hasn't done so already.

Don't get me wrong, properly dressed hijaabi girls are no better! On the same note, not all the inappropriately dressed sisters are a problem. I'm not sure really what I'm trying to get at. Its just, it seems to me lately that our masjids have turn into these fashion parades and hook up joints. Its as if girls get dressed in their best attire with the intention to get hooked up at the masjid. DONT get me wrong...I would no better place to meet my man than the masjid...its just if it was done with a little more decency and a little more class that would be great!

On the other hand...I'm glad these sisters and their young counter parts are actually at the masjid at 2am on a Saturday night rather than some house Alhamdulilah.

I just feel like if you have a little sister, tell she's beautiful just the way she is and that she doesn't need to flaunt her assets. I think us older sisters need to step up to the plate and be big sisters and guide the little ones...and if there's a brother reading this blog (which i doubt) do the same for your little brothers.

Perhaps I am hypoglycemic...cuz I feel like I just made no sense....

....end rant...


single4now said...

Good points. At least before the lecture starts, people should ask their children, sisters, etc to be quiet and concentrate on the lecture. Or if they can't understand it then to read the tasbih on their hands. They can earn hasanat that way.

However, I can also understand why girls do this. Wherever you read about what guys want in a wife, the first thing is attractiveness so obviously girls will flaunt it and cover themselves in make up and make themselves obvious. It's really a bad way to go about it but that's also what works in many cases. But it may not be attracting the right kind of guys. So the whole situation is very unfortunate. said...

You are absolutely correct. The problem is that society bombards us with images of what is beautiful, what is fashionable and what is sexy. Brothers are constantly exposed to half-naked, artificially beautified women on billboards that our image of beauty has been distorted.

Its funny you mention that dressing in such a manner actually works sometimes. Before I started to wear hijaab it was as if every week a brother or random male would express some sort of desire to get to know me better...of course not for the sake of marriage. But on the same note, since I started to wear hijaab, while there is still the occasional brother here and there that expresses interest, the number has decreased substantially. Perhaps it isn't necessarily a bad thing...maybe my dress sends a message to brothers that a certain degree of respect is necessary and I'm not in the mood to play games? Nonetheless...its an observation that I have come across.

asad_ddos said...

I respectfully disagree with your critic, as islam is not about critiquing everyones behaviour but that is what it has indeed turned in to because of people like you. said...

@ asad_ddos:

Subhan'Allah "people like [me]" quite honestly bro/sister (sorry the sn is misleading), that comment in itself is far worse than a critique. To say people like implies that you are judging my character and my don't know me....I encourage you to get to knwo me before saying such things.

Anyways...I feel as if you didn't read my whole post. I should warn you, its not good practice to pick and chose what you would like to read from something a person writes and then run with the first thing that comes to your mind.

Since you don't know me...let me explain. What I write is not now nor ever intended to judge anyone or to call out anyone, or backbite or in anyway say that I am better than the next or that a hijaabi is better than a non-hijaabi...NEVER. I am an observant person. I see things. Things I wish the Ummah would have the guts to speak out against. For example...inappropriate dress in the masjid. You see..people are too afraid of being called "people like [me]" that advice is never I give it here. In a place where I can say what needs to be frank and open. Therefore I do :). Let me reiterate..never have I named anyone, therefore it is not critiquing one single persons behavior. And for the record...the reason I do this annonymously and not openly in my community or even in the scope of a youth group where aklaq should be discussed is because I would never want to ever make anyone feel like they are being singled out for scrutiny.

Now, since I said my rant..I would love to hear with what part of my rant you "disagree" with.

Anonymous said...

Love, thank heavens for your rant. I am very VERY new to Islam but one of the first things that I was able to change was the way that I dressed. The Qur'an could not be any clearer. If you are Muslim you believe in Mohammed may peace be upon him. If you believe in the prophet you believe in the Qur'an. If you believe in the Qur'an you do what it tells you. That means wearing jilbab out of the house even if it must be borrowed from someone else and pulling KHIMAR which is a head covering down over the neck and bosom. And for those who say that these rules apply for back then but not now... do the words "I have perfected your religion for you on this day" ring a bell? No I do not think that women who dress provocatively are horible people and will be denied heaven. There are niqaabis who do not live for God. What I am saying is when the day of judgement comes every little thing adds up, do you really want to take a chance?! Dressing modestly is so easy, is wearing skinny jeans worth risking a place in heaven? If you are right and it isn't neccesary then sorry. But I for one will not be taking that risk!
-Anna Spatz