Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I'm back (for now)

So I've been gone for a while...almost nearing a month. For all those who left me messages and emails with well wishes and curiosity..thanks! It feels good to know that someone cares to know what's going on.

A lot of people have been emailing or commenting on the situation with Mr. Possibility (I say a lot like its a million people...ok ok...SOME). Alhamdulilah, things are going well. I know I sit here and rant and rave about how he doesn't really fit the bill when it comes to religiosity and what not, but he really is a good guy. Don't get me wrong, it still bothers me that he's not super religious or that his social views are rather liberal compared to mine, but as a person he is really amazing. Don't get all excited, there are no wedding bells, no engagement ring, nothing. Its just that over the past few days, when I've needed a friend the most and a shoulder to cry on (in the figurative way, not literally), he has been there. He's tried his hardest to cheer me up and for the most part has succeeded.

One of the things that I admire about him is that he supports me in everything that I do. He supports my decision to persue a higher education, my desire to work and be active in the community both Islamically and not. The problem I find in most "religious" men is that while they follow most Islamic guidelines when it comes to life, i.e. praying, going to the masjid, relations with the opposite gender, community work, etc., they often fail to support their wives' community involvement and participation (its a bit of a double standard). Mr. Possibility on the other hand, while not super active, he supports me and applauds me for my effort...I like that.

When I read the entries that I wrote about him in the past, I have truly been unjust to him. He truly is a kind hearted man. And I'm not sure if I'm being naive or childish, but after my (almost) month of absence, I truly saw how much he cares about me. I'm going to be more open minded from now on insha'Allah.

10 comments:

maymoona said...

That was good. Good that when you met him and observed him, your impression of him improved. That's why the Holy Prophet (pbuh) advised a man who wanted to marry a woman to meet her first (read dating/face-to-face enquiring-after all technology wasn't there) so that he gets better impression of her and He said: "that (meeting) would enhance/foster the bonding."

Concerning his religiosity, he can improve and he will insha' Allah but don't nag him. Men hate nagging and you better digest that now than later. Pray for him and appreciate him though I may say you are "too conservative" in some instances and may be that's why you think he is a liberal. Our prayers are with you.

Desert Princess said...

glad to know that ur feeling so warm towards him :)

u know what..in my humble opinion, the guys who are not 'overtly' religious are usually more sincere in what they do... Of course, not everyone is like that but a decent, good guy is way better than one who's in-your-face-religious with the big beard and refusing to shake hands and stuff, but yet lacks decent manners, believes all women should stay locked up at home..!

Samia said...

mashaAllah, good for you! :)

Mad Muslima said...

inshallah the ride continues to go smoothly...
i always say its the personality that matters first because it, unlike religion, is innate. after the personality is beautified then religion can come in and he will see on his own that his great behaviors IS islam...and inshallah he will slowly improve
and with a good muse like u...i dont feel worried at all =)
inshallah all is always guiding us to the right path!!!

bb_aisha said...

Pray Istikhaarah & if positive go for it. He sounds lovely & it seems you do want to settle down with him...

Jasmine said...

Wondeful news - life is about balance, and so if there is a good balance in his attributes, and a good balance of qualities between you - then mashaAllah, all is good.
Many people fall into the error of seeking a person who is the same as them - but if this happened...bo balance!
InshaAllah, the up and up continues with this brother,
Jaz
x

Amaat al Kareem said...

...yet dont push your negative thoughts aside.. they are valid concerns to bring up. I think we're interested to hear the "good stuff" about him :)

Anonymous said...

with respect to his religiosity don't expect any changes unfortunately its not gonna happen.

Aisha Aapi said...

I don't agree with anonymous, Allah swt can change what is in the hearts and He guides whom He wills. Make dua!

I think I'm a fan of your blog, mashAllah. May Allah swt give you the best :)

hijaabified.beauty said...

Jazak'Allah Khair for all of your comments, they give me hope.

As for anonymous, I would also have to disagree with you. Before Mr. Possibility, there was someone else. A brother who I never thought I would ever fall for or even be remotely interested in because his religiosity in comparison to mine was on a whole other level - I was totally not religious, not hijaabi, could care less about salah, etc. But after seeing him and the pride that he had in Islam and the lack of concern he had in regards to what others thought about him stopping and praying in the middle of the quad on campus, I myself began to change. Not so much to be with him but more than anything it was this feeling that came over me - almost a feeling of peace and yearning for a level of pride and dignity in my religion as he had.

So...I don't agree that him changing is impossible, anything is possible if Allah (SWT) wills it.